Comments on: Hands-free masturbation

By: johemmant

johemmant — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 20:50:41 +0000

And anyway, I’ve lived long enough to learn this; that the things you buy became stuff; but the things you’re given became treasures.

That is, of course, with the exception of sexually transmitted diseases

Oh that is fantastic writing…….from the intake of breath to the laugh.

By: S

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 00:20:03 +0000

What an interesting way to put it – “…paying for sex is to knowingly buy into the lie without even the remotest hope of love, without the slimmest possibility of happiness.” Though I wish I could say that I were on the same page as you, my being jaded about the subject of love hinders my ability to share your optimism.

That said, as someone who does enjoy the occasional casual sex, there is something about the thought of paying for it that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I can’t quite put a finger on it, but it is perhaps related to your point about it all being feigned happiness. The whole industry of buying sex is just sad to me, and the thought that there’s a need for that industry to exist is perhaps what aids my being jaded about the notion of love.

I do applaud you for being much braver than I ever could be, for I don’t believe that I could ever be lonely enough to allow myself to subscribe to some sort of dating service – be it online, speed dating, personal ads, or otherwise.

By: Doktor Holocaust

Doktor Holocaust — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 09:29:51 +0000

I place no faith in online dating services: no computer algorhythm can screw my life up half as good as I can on my own.

I’ve also reached a point where love, romance, and sex with other people all seem like big, expensive, drama-intensive hassles that I’m much happier without. It helps that my list girlfriend had the foresight to be cruel enough and violent enough to break me of my girlfriend-seeking habits. I never did get around to sending her a thank-you card for that…

By: arnoldthemethodical

arnoldthemethodical — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 17:51:10 +0000

I would like to add to the sensitive comments from Silvertiger and ladypirate. Pull yourself together and stop being soft .The last thing you need at a time like this is sensitive friends. What you need is white goods or booze.

By: ladypirate

ladypirate — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 15:04:46 +0000

To be perfectly honest, and even though I love Mr. Ladypirate, ownership of the remote control is an enviable luxury! I sometimes miss the loneliness of being alone (as opposed to the loneliness of being with someone) and (as you know, having been married) sometimes the compromises turn out to be sacrifices neither of you is willing to make or accept. At the moment, for example, it looks like I’ve a tough decision ahead of me: Mr. Ladypirate or a PhD. So there’s something to be said for living lonely and free . . . everything shared costs something, whether it be love or just sex (a triumverate of pain).

By: SilverTiger

SilverTiger — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 14:05:17 +0000

I don’t believe that there is a “someone” who is right for each of us. I think there is a reasonable number of people we can get along with, a much smaller number we can be ecstatically happy with and a much bigger number we can be disastrously unhappy with.

On the face of it, everyone’s ambition is to find one in the first two categories but seeing how many people end up with disastrous partners, not once but time and time again, makes me suspect we have other agendas albeit ones we are not aware of.

When I was a child, I wondered why love and sex went together and whether in fact they needed to. When I grew up, the answer became obvious: love and sex obviously go together. Now I am older still, I have reverted to my childhood questions, seeing that though sex and love often go together, they often do not, without prejudice to either.

Maybe it’s back to the old advice: know yourself. For if you don’t, who does?