Two cheers for America

invasion_usa.jpgIt is almost de rigueur to have a go at America these days.  In fact, I hear generalisations about Americans from people who would never be caught dead making the same stereotypical observations about women or black people.   

Of course, here in Australia, give or take a few thousand dead Aborigines, we like to see ourselves as pretty damn perfect.  We figure that if we have little influence for good in the world, then at least we also have little influence for bad. 

But America, now there’s a country with influence! I know, I know – how do you forgive a nation that gave us Britney Spears, the bomb and McDonalds? 

But to be fair, Australia did give America Rupert Murdoch. 

Criticism of the US tends to be justified on the grounds of its foreign policy decisions, which conjures up images of very large stones and fragile glasshouses. 

Just to remind ourselves, let’s name some of the great foreign policy highlights of:

England – Suez?  The concentration camps of the Boer War?  That whole empire thing, perhaps?

France – Don’t mention Algeria…

The United Nations –Rwanda who?

Russia – Good morning, Chechnya.

China – Tibet or not Tibet

Italy – Don’t give me that “Benito told me to do it” crap.

Germany – well, we all know what they did…

Australia – aiding and abetting, mostly on the coat tails of the United States of England or America. 

Anyway, in the interests of balance, just this once I would like to thank America for the following:

  1. Bob Dylan
  2. John Steinbeck
  3. Meryl Streep
  4. New York City
  5. The Internet
  6. Martin Luther King Jnr.
  7. Clam Chowder
  8. Jazz 
  9. The iPod
  10. Rock and Roll

 But look, America, if we take back Olivia Newton John, will you take back all the Mormons? Please?  

Now there’s a foreign intervention that really gets up my nose.



Filed under australia, humour, life, USA, war

7 responses to “Two cheers for America

  1. I feel compelled to point out that Mormons are a temporary export of the US, only going to other countries to do their “mission.” Then they come back to the US. But then, I guess when there is a steady stream going out and coming back it must seem relatively permanent, like an occupational force. A very polite one.

    Anyway, were it in my power I would keep Olivia Newton John here in the US. I was originally attracted to my wife, in part, because she looked and sang like a young OLJ.

  2. OK…I’m commenting on Chuck Norris.

    Every year, we have a “Team Building” event at work. Basically we split into teams and harass the hell out of the other teams. This past year, the Blue Team based everything off of Chuck Norris as a theme. He was everywhere in the office and random Chuck Norris facts were emailed relentlessly to the staff…

    I laugh when I see Chuck Norris… 🙂

  3. EuroPosh

    you got me thinking… about what I could thank America for. I may post the list on my blog after I’m done with the list.

  4. Hear hear re: most on your ‘thanks’ list, but I have a problem with bot Bob D, and clam chowder. Re: Mormons – at least they wear huge black plastic name tags, so if your eyesight is good, you can see ’em coming.

  5. You’re right, Caveblogem – I was a bit hard on OLJ and the (very polite) Mormons. And congratulations on marrying such a beautiful woman!
    Beauty – when you read this movie poster it is hard not to laugh, I agree.
    Hi, EuroPosh – I await your list! A European view would be interesting.
    OK, Sheona, I can pass up on the chowder but not Bob…Thanks for commenting though.

  6. Pingback: Why I like America « EuroPosh

  7. S

    I had no idea that clam chowder was pure Americana… though, it only makes sense what with the “New England” that typically appears in its name.

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