- I was once married to a perfectionist until I decided that I couldn’t spend my life scrubbing flaws.
- For a while I flirted with being gay but found that this lifestyle cannot be sustained on the simple premise that the world is full of arseholes.
- I have the temperament of an artist but without any redeeming talent.
- Artistically I am a nihilistic minimalist, which is nothing to write about, I can tell you.
- My main hobby is ennui and I have managed to combine this cleverly with my career.
- For a long time I thought I was paranoid schizophrenic but the doctor told me that the nagging little voices would disappear when my kids left home.
- I am interested in sex but the feeling is not reciprocated.
- When I grow up I want to be like my Dad but not so old (or sleeping with my mother).